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You can’t be all things — or do all things — for all people.
你不能為所有人成為任何人或做所有事。
A life without limits means rarely saying "no" and considering everyone else’s feelings before your own. Not only are these people-pleasing habits wholly exhausting, they put you on the direct road to burnout, a major health hazard in its own right.
不設(shè)限的人生意味著極少說“不”，把所有其他人的感受放在自己的感受之前。這些取悅他人的習(xí)慣不但會讓你徹底筋疲力盡，還會讓你直接走向崩潰，嚴重危害你的健康。
We consulted boundaries expert Chad Buck, a clinical psychologist at Vanderbilt University’s Work/Life Employee Assistance Program, on the life-changing power of establishing a clear-cut view of what you’re willing to tolerate. Below are a few great things that happen when you learn to set your own limits:
我們咨詢了范德堡大學(xué)“員工工作與生活援助項目”的臨床心理學(xué)家、設(shè)限專家查德·巴克，請他來告訴我們?nèi)绻苊鞔_自己愿意承受的限度，會給生活帶來多大的改變。如果你學(xué)會了設(shè)限，就會得到以下幾點好處：
1. You’re more self-aware.
你會更有自知之明。
Self awareness is the art of recognizing your needs and feelings as your own, and not tied to any person or your environment. Creating your own limitations is an inherently self-aware act — and that can be incredibly beneficial for your own welfare.
自知是一種不受任何人或周遭環(huán)境影響來認識自己需要和感受的藝術(shù)。設(shè)定自己的限度本身就是一種自知行為——它能給你帶來不可思議的好處。
2. You become a better friend and partner.
你會成為更好的朋友和伴侶。
Boundaries make it possible to allow yourself to recharge. And when you’re not totally tapped out, you have more energy to devote to the ones you love.
設(shè)限能讓你有機會恢復(fù)能量。你不會把自己搞得筋疲力盡，也就會有更多的精力來照顧自己所愛的人。
3. You take better care of yourself.
你能更好地照顧自己。
Boundaries help you prioritize your own well-being — plain and simple.
理所當(dāng)然地，設(shè)限能幫你重視自己的需要。
4. You’re less stressed.
你會少些壓力。
Without establishing your own limits, you open yourself up to the risk of taking on everyone’s problems in addition to your own. Or worse, you ignore your own happenings entirely. If you have a reasonable boundary, you don’t take on additional stress.
不設(shè)限的話，你就有可能把所有人的問題變成自己的問題，將自己置于這種風(fēng)險之中?；蛘?，還有更糟的情況，就是你會完全忽略自己的幸福。如果你有合理的限度，就不會吸納額外的壓力了。
